Before becoming pregnant, I did know about weird food aversions and/or cravings mommies to be can have. My mom couldn't handle the smell of most food while pregnant with my brother and if, heaven forbid, she got cake icing on her hand she flipped out. Which was actually rather funny, from an outside perspective, to watch her stiffen her hands and shake them all while making a weird, freaked out noise and scrambling to the sink to get it off her.
But I was unprepared of the battle I would have with food during my own pregnancy. Suddenly, I'm hungry all the flippin' time. Sounds great, right? I mean getting to snack all day with baby-makin' purpose all day, that's like a plump chick's dream come true. Ahhh...but there's a catch. "You will be hungry all day long," spoke the muses of pregnancy, "but nothing will ever sound good ever! Muahahahaha!"
Well, 'nothing' is not entirely true. I've been pretty lucky that the few things that do sound good are pretty healthy. For example, I can't get enough tomatoes. Sliced raw or whole raw, cooked, made into V8 juice, with crackers, on a sandwich, love me some tomatoes.
Oh, sandwiches. And my beloved sandwiches. I can't eat sandwiches unless they are tomato sandwiches. That's it. The bread makes me gag unless paired with tomatoes. This includes grilled cheese, PB&J, and even toast. Let me repeat that slower so the horror sinks in: I...can't ...eat...toast. *le sigh* But hamburger buns and hoagie rolls I can handle. Weird right?
I look forward to the day when these little babies have grown and are eating food so that I can see what they think about french toast. Cause the other night they wanted nothing do to with the french toast. I'll spare you the delightful details and just say that I wasn't even done eating the french toast when it got violently vetoed by a joint decision of my stomach and lovely almost 11 week old darlings.
Beyond my food rantings, I am doing rather well I think. Tired as all get out, and a few mood swings that usually just leave me weepy and apologetic and a tad sulky. Jay is amazingly understanding when I lose my ever-loving mind. And he usually realizes that when I'm really being a grouchy, stark raging *beep* that I'm actually just hungry and he lovingly suggests that a glass of milk would be good or just hands me the glass of milk. And my mood swings are cut down with the good night sleep that Gladys has given back to me. On Monday, I bought just a regular body pillow at the Wal-Mart and a pretty blue cover for it. This thing is like 54" tall, leading us to remark that it will be like having someone else trying to sleep in the bed with us. And leading me, cause I do this, to name the body pillow. Her name is Gladys and she is my new true love. Jay is not even all that jealous of our new relationship because he has woken up after I leave for work leaning or cuddling up against Gladys.
We are still very excited to be having twins, although I promise that is tempered by the right amount of terror at having two infants entrusted to our care. But I will believe and I will pray and I will be happy and I will remember that being pregnant doesn't even really last very long in the grand scheme of things. And I will make french toast every weekend of these children's lives just cause it will make me laugh.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Happy, happy, joy, joy (cue happy dance)
So us Heiningers had our high-risk OB appointment today at Cape Perinatology Services in St. Francis Medical Center. The idea of going there was pretty nerve-wracking; just the "high-risk" part sounds so ominous. But, praises be, it all turned out okay. We were there primarily to check what kind of twins our little darlings are. Turns out (info for us common folk) there are three types of ways twins can exist in the womb. DiDi twins have their own everything; they have their own placentas and their own outer and inner membranes to grow in. Kind of like living in a duplex, you have your own kitchen are are just basically aware of your neighbor (all fraternal twins are DiDi). MoDi twins share a placenta and the outer membrane but have their own inner membrane space all to them selves. This one is like having a bedroom next door to your sibling; you get your food from the same kitchen, but you get your own sleeping space. MoMo twins share it all, placenta, membranes, everything. They are completely together, like having to share a bedroom with your sibling and them getting all up in your stuff. This last type is the most dangerous because of the risk of the umbilical cords getting tangled and potentially cutting off food/oxygen/blood supply to the babies.
So that's where our fears were coming from. That and my crazy terror that one or both would be gone because I love them and I worry about everything. But I got my fears abated there. We got to hear lovely, thumping, exciting, most-beautiful-sound-in-the-cosmos heartbeats from both Thing 1 and Thing 2. We even got to see them move around a bit. It was so weird/neat to see them and know that they are inside of me, living and growing and thriving. And as for their living arrangements, they are MoDi twins! They share a placenta but they have their own bedrooms to grow and move around in without fear of disrupting their sibling. We are so thankful and excited and relieved. Because they share a placenta (calling it a kitchen makes me giggle), there is still some risk of what is called Twin-to-Twin Transfusion where blood from one baby goes into the other baby but not back out. It can be risky but that is not something we worry about now. The OB said he has seen two of those in five years at St. Francis which was a bit comforting. It is something that just needs more prayer and happy thoughts and I know there is a Plan for it all.
A big thank you to everyone who sent up prayers for us about this. I know without a doubt that our MoDi twin diagnosis was a divine gift. Oh, the MoDi twin thing also means that the OB is pretty certain that the Heininger babies are identical! So they really are Thing 1 and Thing 2. I am not as upset over that as I thought I'd be. I used to always say I never wanted identical twins but I must say the idea has grown on me and now I can't wait. Can't wait to see how they develop into their own people and attitudes and likes and dislikes even while sharing identical genetics. Can't wait to laugh with them as people mix them up and have to guess and watch them exploit that just for fun.
So that's all from our batcave for the time being. I'm going to get some much needed peaceful sleep knowing that my babies are safe and healthy in their own rooms. Oh and it must be said that I am being taught daily that Jay was really chosen for me because he is awesome. He does so much to keep me calm and centered and is so excited about twins and is so amazing about distracting me from my worries with joy and laughter. Tonight I am the saved citizen and he is the superhero in our house.
So that's where our fears were coming from. That and my crazy terror that one or both would be gone because I love them and I worry about everything. But I got my fears abated there. We got to hear lovely, thumping, exciting, most-beautiful-sound-in-the-cosmos heartbeats from both Thing 1 and Thing 2. We even got to see them move around a bit. It was so weird/neat to see them and know that they are inside of me, living and growing and thriving. And as for their living arrangements, they are MoDi twins! They share a placenta but they have their own bedrooms to grow and move around in without fear of disrupting their sibling. We are so thankful and excited and relieved. Because they share a placenta (calling it a kitchen makes me giggle), there is still some risk of what is called Twin-to-Twin Transfusion where blood from one baby goes into the other baby but not back out. It can be risky but that is not something we worry about now. The OB said he has seen two of those in five years at St. Francis which was a bit comforting. It is something that just needs more prayer and happy thoughts and I know there is a Plan for it all.
A big thank you to everyone who sent up prayers for us about this. I know without a doubt that our MoDi twin diagnosis was a divine gift. Oh, the MoDi twin thing also means that the OB is pretty certain that the Heininger babies are identical! So they really are Thing 1 and Thing 2. I am not as upset over that as I thought I'd be. I used to always say I never wanted identical twins but I must say the idea has grown on me and now I can't wait. Can't wait to see how they develop into their own people and attitudes and likes and dislikes even while sharing identical genetics. Can't wait to laugh with them as people mix them up and have to guess and watch them exploit that just for fun.
So that's all from our batcave for the time being. I'm going to get some much needed peaceful sleep knowing that my babies are safe and healthy in their own rooms. Oh and it must be said that I am being taught daily that Jay was really chosen for me because he is awesome. He does so much to keep me calm and centered and is so excited about twins and is so amazing about distracting me from my worries with joy and laughter. Tonight I am the saved citizen and he is the superhero in our house.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Holy waiting rooms, Batman, this is really for real.
My husband and partner in crime, Jay, turned 30 today. Last night we were watching TV and he muted it during the commercials and said with some shock/resignation, "I'm turning 30 tomorrow." It was funny...to me at least. He has been incredible so far with his crazy preggo wife. He orders me to "Go sit down" when I'm beating myself up over being so tired after working all day and resisting the desire to crash on the couch. He gets me more to drink every time my cup gets low. He's been doing the dishes. And most importantly of all he has been performing the critical function of telling me everything will be alright.
That has been the biggest challenge. Believing that all will be well. I had this dream of sailing through a lovely pregnancy, getting big and round, but feeling good and happy and like a super mom already. But twin pregnancies come with their own challenges. The first happened the night we found out they were they and not just he or she. I had been calling around to get an OB appointment and at the last place we called, when I mentioned some light spotting to the nurse, she immediately asked me my blood type. "Ummm...O negative," I replied with some confusion at her urgent tone. She immediately told us to go straight to Carbondale Memorial ER and get a shot of Rhogam. Apparently, since my Rh factor is negative, if the babies (either of them as we found out) have a positive Rh factor, my body could develop an immune response to them and that's very not good. Like two trains, a cab, and a long walk from good. So a shot of Rhogam and the very nice ultrasound tech's happy news that the baby was two babies, and we were home.
I tried to grasp the excitement of having twins. "Insta-family" I called it. Jay, as an only child, has never been part of a family of four and that's what we're diving into. It is super wonderful, right? I did have some bouts with the evil that is Google. I usually love Google. Consider myself something of a Google master. But having all those scary "what horrible things can happen" resources at my fingertips is bad news. I was trying to rally though. Even with the continuation of the light spotting, I was staying positive because I wasn't having any other problems and having lots of preggo symptoms.
My first official OB appointment was yesterday. It went well. Dr. Meyer is great. He knows his stuff and seems really smart without being condescending at all. He was personable and explained things well and kept things light and moving. Then the bombshell. Oh, by the way, I'd like you to see a high-risk OB doctor because we have to find out if your twins are sharing too much of the same space and if that's true you'll be super high risk. My heart dropped. Just keeping them growing and their little hearts growing may not be enough. Twins have so many other complications and to be honest I am a smidgen terrified. The thought that I'm "high risk" (dun dun dun, ominous music cue here) makes me feel helpless and afraid and vaguely like I've done something wrong.
Wow, this is way long and getting dimmer as we go. So we are going to see a high-risk doc in Cape Girardeau next week and hopefully we will get wonderful news that the babies have their own lovely space to grow and thrive. And if not, well, we were going to need all the Grace we could get anyway. So say a prayer for us sometime. Lord knows (and He does) that's all I seem to do these days. Especially in the bathroom and as I'm falling asleep.
My mom used to tell me when I'd get worried and afraid and upset to "Give it to God." I don't think I understood what she was telling me till now. Until I've found myself praying that God lets them bury me and not the other way around. Praying for strength to do and decide and accept what happens. I am trying to hand these fears to Him and just believe. Believe that all will be well, even if it's not my definition of well.
That has been the biggest challenge. Believing that all will be well. I had this dream of sailing through a lovely pregnancy, getting big and round, but feeling good and happy and like a super mom already. But twin pregnancies come with their own challenges. The first happened the night we found out they were they and not just he or she. I had been calling around to get an OB appointment and at the last place we called, when I mentioned some light spotting to the nurse, she immediately asked me my blood type. "Ummm...O negative," I replied with some confusion at her urgent tone. She immediately told us to go straight to Carbondale Memorial ER and get a shot of Rhogam. Apparently, since my Rh factor is negative, if the babies (either of them as we found out) have a positive Rh factor, my body could develop an immune response to them and that's very not good. Like two trains, a cab, and a long walk from good. So a shot of Rhogam and the very nice ultrasound tech's happy news that the baby was two babies, and we were home.
I tried to grasp the excitement of having twins. "Insta-family" I called it. Jay, as an only child, has never been part of a family of four and that's what we're diving into. It is super wonderful, right? I did have some bouts with the evil that is Google. I usually love Google. Consider myself something of a Google master. But having all those scary "what horrible things can happen" resources at my fingertips is bad news. I was trying to rally though. Even with the continuation of the light spotting, I was staying positive because I wasn't having any other problems and having lots of preggo symptoms.
My first official OB appointment was yesterday. It went well. Dr. Meyer is great. He knows his stuff and seems really smart without being condescending at all. He was personable and explained things well and kept things light and moving. Then the bombshell. Oh, by the way, I'd like you to see a high-risk OB doctor because we have to find out if your twins are sharing too much of the same space and if that's true you'll be super high risk. My heart dropped. Just keeping them growing and their little hearts growing may not be enough. Twins have so many other complications and to be honest I am a smidgen terrified. The thought that I'm "high risk" (dun dun dun, ominous music cue here) makes me feel helpless and afraid and vaguely like I've done something wrong.
Wow, this is way long and getting dimmer as we go. So we are going to see a high-risk doc in Cape Girardeau next week and hopefully we will get wonderful news that the babies have their own lovely space to grow and thrive. And if not, well, we were going to need all the Grace we could get anyway. So say a prayer for us sometime. Lord knows (and He does) that's all I seem to do these days. Especially in the bathroom and as I'm falling asleep.
My mom used to tell me when I'd get worried and afraid and upset to "Give it to God." I don't think I understood what she was telling me till now. Until I've found myself praying that God lets them bury me and not the other way around. Praying for strength to do and decide and accept what happens. I am trying to hand these fears to Him and just believe. Believe that all will be well, even if it's not my definition of well.
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